Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize