So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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