Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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