I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize