peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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