apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize