Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I didn't notice because vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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