in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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