i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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