I must be too annoying 4 u.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You need Xanax blowdarts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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