just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize