You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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