I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
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I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
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Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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