I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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