No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize