pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize