Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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