just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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