1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
tonight lets celebrate not being married
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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