you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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