So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
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Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
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I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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