i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
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