i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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