i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
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He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
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The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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