i just sent this text using only my big toe
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
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She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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