Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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