I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words: eviction party
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Two words: blizzard sex
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