i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
third nipple confirmed
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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