also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
this beer tastes like vomit already
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
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He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
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I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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