Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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