hell yes lets make some ravioli
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
