i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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