I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize