we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
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I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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