oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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