I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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