I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
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Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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