im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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