Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Randomize