why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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