I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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