you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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