Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize