my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
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theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
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He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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