i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize