Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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