I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
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It was like getting head from an anaconda
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
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well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
did i just pee glitter
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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