I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
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