Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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