I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize