You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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